shriveling petals=a dead flower

im deppresed. it official. school has just made it worst by adding a great deal of pressure to my mind. oh man. not good. i feel like i was flourishing flower full of hope and happiness after my spiritual growth over camp but now i'm shriveling and shriveling petals means a dying flower. i'm dying inside and feel like i need to be rejuvinated. but i dont know how? at the same time i have so many good things going for me that i'm excited for but my home life and problems just weigh me down. i'm stuck with all these emotions captured in my mind and i cant find the words to describe them, so i just keep them bottled them up until all i can do is cry and let the tears leak out my frutration. leaking out frustration doesnt help getting rid of all the emotions though its temporary relief. i feel alone. i'm not suicidal but jeez sometimes i wish i could be numb and forget everything. . . start all over with a white paper. but then i guess i wouldnt be me anymore.