Sunday, May 31, 2009

Poems & Weekend

This weekend was amazing but reminds we I love to do nothing. I am pooped and still have to study for a math test before going to bed. Anyways, friday night my sisters went partying and had made me a special cosmo (cranberry juice, lemon juice and vodka) it was FANTASTIC! yuuuummmmy. I mean I have to beware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in my family (I mean look at my dad) but either way it was good. =D What made it even better is that I was catching up on "Mas Sabe El Diablo" which of course the main character is Jencarlos Canela. So I was happy. Saturday I didn't wake up until 11:17 in the morning and then did a 1500 word paper on my change over the year with my Social Justice class. Then I went over to my BFF's house (EMELIE) and had fun with Andrea's ATV. (Yes we drove an ATV only for 2 people with 3 people on top. . . . that does not include my fat ass.) HAHAHA. It was amazing. So we chatted about dogs, pigs, max, cody and Hunger Games. Then her brother called us drunk (Yes we were drunk . . . drunk of LIFE). It was great. =D But then I had to leave. =( On sunday i woke up to Emelie's voice "Guys you breakfast has been on the table for a long time." And ate bread with boysenberry jam. . . it was good. Then i had to go to the Farmers Market of Vulcan. That was boring but I got to sketch a frog and a bodice. Anyways, Courtney and I then went to my house and worked on our SJP powerpoint. and now its 11:33 and I'm trying to do homework while typing this. I still have to right 5 more poems. . . . for english but here are a few. 

Contemporary Brain

A neon sign flickers on,

But years of soil cover areas of the four letters,

Leaving the original word obscure.

The empty city is only full of ragged clouds,

Stained with dirt and sin.

They alone provide the only breath of consciousness.

Life continues on its usual trance

Like a circle continually rotation with no pause.

Noises circulate and are consumed hungrily by the eager master of thought.

Desolate and gray create this color scheme,

Except for the small fragments the neon sign provides.

The pathways are exponentially big,

But their arrangement creates a system of repetition.

Time and distance are useless.

The plain taste of normality governs

And not even salty tears provide change,

For they to have gone bland.

The clouds of thought float aimlessly with no understanding.

The light sputters and dies.

Taking with it the only HOPE we had. 

.

 

The memories are splattered on the walls,

And like spit on hot cement they beckon for attention.

The evolution of character is portrayed in one moment of many times.

The smiles plastered forever with ink on various colored paper is haunting.

Faces within them are strangers although they reflect one like a mirror.

 

Truth tears the seam of illusion,

Familiar mouths scream the lies and tangles.

No rag can cover an eye so keen to the hallucinogen of deception. 

And it is all so real.

 

I race to see my reflection,

My face is contorted,

To be me is no more.

Instead Gregor stares back at me,

Metamorphosized into something unknown and grotesque,

But no one seems to see me change.

Maybe because I never really changed

And my mask has finally shed off.

 

Life cannot thaw and continue.

Progression cannot occur.

Not until the screaming ceases and the knots unravel.

Soon the past will fall and everything known is no more.

 

I start to sweat,

My skin hardens,

And my insides transform and painfully churn

My face warps and the horrendousness seizes.

 

I lay flat on my back,

My arms are blue with no oxygen

And somehow I’m still alive.

But not to them

And not to you.

Everything known is unchanged

I am silenced.


Martyr Environment

 

Her hair was made out of petals,

Each one representing each species in the world.

Her bones were trunks with roots clinging off of them,

The strength of her many years remained untouched

Her skin is a light sprinkle of earth,

That swirls in the wind but replenishes.

Her eyes were the emerald leaves

And water formed her gleaming lips. 

 

With the help of the sun that made her shine and grow,

She was magnificent with every color in her grasp.

He had been her mate before the beginning of time,

But in current times his rays began to burn,

And her lips began to evaporate.

As she lashed her anger against the sun,

Her lips began to freeze.

 

She couldn’t breath

Her lungs fill with VOCs.

Each toxic compound gripped to every stem.

In the beginning humanity cared,

Nurturing and giving but greed filled their hearts.

We whip her like a slave,

Soon she will be forced to render on her knees

 

Time passed and she rapidly withered,

And her eyes fell to the ground.

Blind and desperate she began to waste away.

 

Humanity’s change of heart is temporary,

GOING GREEN is the latest fad,

And just like last fall’s fashion it will pass.

Today its boots, tomorrow hello pumps.

 

She continues to pay for our past

They give her a shock

The pacer slows down.

And a red flat line dooms us all.


Recycled Tradition

 

Man of the house,

Man I look up too,

Man that brings hope,

Brings worry,

Anger,

Sadness.

 

Man of opportunity,

Opportunistic man.

So many adjectives to describe man.

A man.

Singular.

 

Above law or so he thinks,

Above humanity he believes,

But with these beliefs he has sunk

To the bottom of my thought.

 

Love him equally as before,

Respect him equally as before,

Before memory can recall.

 

Freud’s theory I will not allow,

Better dead than I do,

To someone as cold as you.

 

Don’t want to be her,

Even if I love mama so.

Strong in normality, weak in change.

Tradition I will not continue

Cycle I will break.

 

Home is no haven.

Just another roof to stand under.

Arguments are infectious,

But man somehow always wins.

 

Fate falls in my hands,

There are no gods or oracles to choose my path,

Victory I strive for,

So in my reflection he stands.

 

Woman of the house,

Woman that looks down upon others,

Woman of hard eyes,

No emotion shown,

Hardworking,

Lonely,

Angry.

 

So many adjectives to describe women,

A woman,

Singular . . . Me.  


Ok well thats it for tonight I still got to study for math and take a shower. NIGHT!

Peace Out,

Lili AKA Smurfburrto

Saturday, May 30, 2009

****SIGH****


Jencarlos Canela has become my new obsession. . . .  . oh my . . . =D On top of his gorgeousness he is a great musician that can play the guitar and drums. Anyways, he has officially become  the youngest celebrity i crush on, he's 21. Not to shabby. I mean compared to Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Christian Meyer and Enrique Iglesias. HAHA. I just cant help myself with mature HOT men.  . . . . call it a hobby. 
Ok so moving on with actual reality. Lets just say my life has gone on its usual path of sameness. I mean you can call me depressed but my life is not exactly spring colors at the moment. So things that you may not know about me: 
1) I'm not rich. On the contrary, my family clearly does not even own the roof we live under.  Its a fact and unfortunately the probability of me going out of state for college is not even in the range of possibilities, or dreams for that matter. 
2) My full brother is a delinquent. He has been in and out of jail for all of his life and has never been in my life. He's practically  a stranger that happens to be related to me. He got out one week before christmas 2008 and had parol. The retard just got re-arrested because he broke parol and was doing other unmentionables. They want to pin him 15 years. Oh joy.
3) I'm an OK student but other than that, I don't know what I am. I cant play an instrument, I don't play a sport, etc. I'm lost. 
 
I can probably think of more later and by all means i'll post them up but in 2 weeks i'll be a junior in high school that means i only have 2 years to become a STAR student or get something else under my belt to even see a better future. And that is pressure. I don't know what i'm going to do. Its funny how when your young you think everything is possible because everyone tells you so but in reality thats not true. A lot depends on what you can afford and how much you push your limits. 
Moving away from that chat, I haven't been here on so long and I seriously cant think of anything absolutely major. So i'll end now. Maybe later i'll blog again.

-Lili AKA Smurfburrito

PS I'll post my poems up. . . they're for english but maybe i'll make them more of a hobby.