Twilight and Romance Novels

Ok so today i had the awesome GEOMETRY STAR TESTING fun. and the 3 girls that sit close to me were all reading one of the twilight series.. . that was at my health class but in p.e there were three other people and in those three a guy. now i began to think why is it we so clearly love this series. is it the fact Edward is so incredibly perfect, or that he loves bella so intensely we want to feel that love, is it the plain lust we see when Meyer describes them kissing, or is it the overall warmness and desire we feel when reading. well dont ask me cause i have not yet figured it out. now people say its a phase (emelie), when you love a book so much, but seriously i think that its the feelings we so dearly love that when your done reading the book the feelings seize to exist there for we want more. . . crave more. you know. well thats what i feel, anyways. the same closeness you feel to the novelas we watch or the movies we watch. that great attachment that when they finish you say "AWWWWWW! that was it. i mean i like it but, what!". you know. anywaysers i'm done with that rant. i do have something exciting yet horribly bad, for me, ready? . . . well today all our classes were shorter, because of STAR testing, and i had a forty minute PE thus we did nothing but sit in the gym. so i sat there and lately got the hobby of drawing and i always draw people sitting on the bleacher, so i turned and started drawing Dylan. . . i guy in my PE class (no not dylan from RSF) and this dylan is not bad looking. . . so i decided hec why not, my friends were writing a wacky story and i didnt want any part in that so i started to sketch the book he was reading, but he moved. so it totally ruined the position so i was like UGH and turned around to face the other side were i found some random guy with the same position. and towards the end of class my friends asked " so what did u draw?" and i was like "well, i tried drawing Dylan but he moved too much. so i drew some random person on the other side." and Courtney said "what did you draw?" and Yvonne said "Dylan." then Dylan said "What did you draw?" and Yvonne said "you" but in an insinuating kind of way. . . kind of like if i had a love interest in him .. i'm like oh great!! just peachy. so dylan wanted to see and was like i didnt get to far you moved to much so i got your book =/ good cover? i dont think so. . . since then he's been acting weird . . . i dont know but i dont think its good because i dont have a crush on him. . . so great i should just pick random people form now on!! i learned my lesson!
so my wonderful friends . . .shea and emelie. .. we need to plan a weekend together. . . HELLO! how bout emelie you get over your mom's rules. . .shea you get your house ready . .. ME get transportation for emelie. i'm thinking movie friday then sleep over at shea's. . . then maybe we can help shea get ready for her prom .. . you know corny girly stuff. . .plus i'm dying to see shea's prom dress .. . and her boyfriend. Well see ya laters.
Signing out,
Lili AKA Smurf Burrito

I Can't Think Of a Title

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Shea my stupid mind forgot to recheck my blog so i couldnt get back to you! I swear destiny refuses to let the tres amigas get back together. Well that sucks. ugh. darn you timing.
So, anyways, all saturday i was like a lifeless zombie. . . if zombies could have a life. i mean i woke up at 8 then totally stared at my wall for like 30 minutes then watched RATATOUILLE (spell check) then watched some other movie then did nothing. then finally picked up my room. When 5PM came slowly and painfully rolling around my sister came with my niece and i took her. it was good, the play. i mean the singing was a bit . . . unpolished. but overall it was good. my niece totally went starry eyed over one of the male lead parts. . . but who could blame her he was good looking. haha! and well the attire was funny, 1980's! the part i enjoyed the most was the music choices i mean they sang VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR, GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN, FOOTLOOSE, I'VE HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE, 500 MILES. . . sure they werent perfect but totally entertaining. anyways once we got home i totally crashed out. and woke to get ready for church.
@ church Pastor Mat's brother gave a testimony about his life. it was AMAZING!!!!! i mean he ran away form home when he was 13 and was hooked on acid. he didnt give details but said he lived a very sinful life, aka i did very bad things, and then he decided to join the military but there was alot of problems, and he had to get his diploma so he did. and at college he met his wife and now has kids and is happy. but overall he knows he still is dirty rotten scoundrel and that all we see good in him is Jesus Christ shining out. you know. all he wanted to do before becoming a real christian is be a good person but he isnt, he said. anyways it was awesome. totally inspiring. my sister just told me it was an hour long but it felt like 15 minutes because it was so good. =)
so now im here at my sisters house. waiting to for my mommy. and gots to go so, bye.
Signing out,
Lili aka Smurf Burrito

PS. EMELIO & SHEA WE TOTALLY HAVE TO MEAT (ha i just but the wrong king of meet.) anyways, THIS WEEKEND DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!!! I DONT CARE FOR WHAT. MAYBE EVEN SOME COFFEE. THEN AGAIN EMELIE AND CAFFEINE. OH OH.

PSS. emelie i still have your b-day present from like ever.

God save me. Part 1 of the play was absolutely fabulous but sadly my circumstances suck and from lack of communication i had to leave during intermission. I'm definitely going to go 2morrow again to see it all!!!! So for anyone out there that is interested in going with me please email me!!! Curtain call is at 7:30 but for good seats we have to get there around 7:10. OK anyways i was so irritated that i have to leave and i have this weird . . . reaction to being alone. I think its because of my low self esteem, but when I'm alone whether day or night i get anxious and desperate. its so weird my fingers tingle and my mind thinks of the worst situations that can happen. so i got out of the theatre really irritated not at my mom but at my constant situation, i can never go somewhere without it being ruined by something, and the school seemed empty i mean the parking lot had cars but i was alone in the chilly night. this was at 9 and its 9:35 and i still feel a little anxious. it sucks! i feel. .. hey i don't even know how to describe it but i don't think its normal. its like fear but . . . ugh i don't know. but after that i had to silently cry it out a little on my way home and it felt good. by the time i got home i felt a whole lot better. and now i feel a OK. but i definitely don't think that is normal ANYWAYS the play was awesome and the two lead roles were GORGEOUS hmmm .. . it was awesome. when one of the guys had there song (its a musical) he was singing footloose and he totally came up to our row and smiled at us!!! now i dont seem to sound boy crazy but it was awesome or felt awesome. sigh. well that was great.

today nothing really happened. nothing at all. we finished Romeo and Juliet the movie and play and it was so different but both were sad and fulfilling. and on my way to biology i was walking and saw that there is absolutely no point in looking good at school. sure personal hygiene is important and brushing hair and teeth but there to fasion, no offense to fasionistas, but its dumb. there is no other reason other to impress a potential mate, or show off. to those who know me i have nothing to show off, my figure is not hourglass, and connecting the dots if i dont look good i cant attract a mate. but the truth is i'd rather have sweat pants, messy hair (a bun full with nots) and well a shirt that does nothing for my body. HA! ofcourse i like looking ok but i feel so much better in what i just described. =) well that was random rambling but hec i'm bored. but now i must say good night. i'm tired and ready for a good nights sleep. plus i want a run in the morning, so PEACE!

signing out,

Lili AKA Smurf Burrito

L8er

I cant wait tonight i'm gonna watch the play BACK TO THE 80'S and its supposed to be really good. i'm gonna watch it with my friends, well i hope they can come. I know samantha is going to and i hope em and shea can too. but there not answering so. . . hmmmmmmmmm. well i'll blog later cause i dont want to right now.
PEACE,
Lili aka Smurf burrito

GUESS IT WASNT THAT SHORT HUH?

Nada

So today nothing happened, nada, zip. you better believe it. so this is going to be a very short entry.
I read the last 100 pages of my book and it was absolutely positively. . . FABULOUS! it was awesome but very sad and it almost made me cry-almost. i mean i felt my eyes sting and nose hurt. hehe. but i didnt because i was in public. but it was AWESOME. to my faith full readers (aka shea and emelie) you have to read this series. i mean its AWESOME.
anywaysers first period was a bore Mrs.Richardson just blabbed on about how to construct angles and other thing with a compass and ruler. oh yeah that was exhilarating (sarcasm.) and third period was fun it was health and we saw a funny movie about our human sexual maturity. . . it was hilarious. Then PE was easy peasy lemon squeezy----we ran a lap then ran walk 3 then played softball. again so exhilarating. i got one out and that was because i didnt get to the base on time BUT i did hit the ball. . . all the times i was up at bat. =) well the first time Kyle had to help me cause i sucked and kept on swinging it . . . with to much force and nothing to clash with it therefore too much momentum. i'm sure you can imagine, so he showed me then of course volunteered me. ha. funny but i amazingly did good. so after school was a bore too.
And now i'm here. so there ya go my amazing life. i really dont feel up to talking about my philosophies about life, love and so long so i will do that next time. i promise. i'm sure all of my readers would love to here my opinions and thoughts about life. ha. but to add something mental-in A SWEET FAR THING i did learn something and that is 1) woman are strong and we can do whatever we please if we just stand up for ourselves 2) if you believe in yourself you can accomplish many things 3) life sucks 4) when it feels like the world is on our shoulders we should just cry it out until finally our head are clear again and finally 5) if i had a hot indian dude that passionately loved me i would have a really hard time letting him go. ;) so there ya go most of these are repeats but this book really inforced them and made me have a heart wrenching moment. .. tear. . . ok im over it.
PEACE
Signing out
Lili AKA smurf burrito
PS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ugly betty is going on today and greys anatomy i can hardly wait. :)

AWESOME COLLAGE I FOUND!

Check this really awesome collage i found on some of the best books ever.

Confusion

*************WARNING! A SWEET FAR THING SPOILERS INVOLVED (IN GRAY)******************

So today i got to start school at 9:20 because of STAR testing. =) so as i sat there determining DNA sequences i thought of how much farther i need of this torture!! AHHHHHHHH! but finally i finished and started reading A SWEET FAR THING and guess what AHHHHHHHHH!!! felicity kissed pippa or better said pippa kissed felicity. yeah! the two girls passionantly kissed each other!!! isnt that shocking and totally explained why they were such good 'friends'. HA. i cant believe they were lesbians so i was reading this in class and i also read the part were Gemma and Kartik get jiggy with it, hows that for a nice testing time. anyways i had to write that in here. i mean its about the most interesting thing that has happened to me all day. So after school my mom picked me up and dropped me off at my sister Martha's house because she was still not done. usually when i'm there i feel a warmness a certain feeling of being content but today i felt a lot of hostile coldness. i mean Jeff (brother-in-law) was super cold and my sister was getting mad at me for not going to youth group today!! is it my fault my nut of a math teacher gave me so much homework. UGH! so today has not been so peachy. seriously i felt so out of it and i've had this uneasy feeling like if something is going to happen. you know that uncertainess. its so irritating. . . you know. probably not? so today i saw my crush for a short 40 minutes and totally ignored him cuz i was reading the book then i saw the other cute guy and my stomach flipped. . . could that mean something? i dont know anymore. i'm so confused. well anyways one thing is for sure this weekend has to be a party weekend for me and my friends. and by party i mean a relaxing evening with my best friends. oh yeah im a party animal. hehe. =) anywaysers, life as it is is so unfullfilling. and i just feel lonely. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! i'm so stressed so annoyed so tired i cant think straight and i really dont want to do homework or think about tommorow. (insert an annoyed, angry, tired sound here). My confusion about my religion has settled to a nice feeling of comfort when i think about God listening to all of my problems.
Lets switch to a nicer subject. So at my sisters house i got my TWILIGHT back and was skimming through my favorite parts . . .the more i read the more handsome Edward look, feels and the more romance seems to bloom out of the awesome pages. i love it. so i got to go. but theres my day and thoughts-----------------interesting huh?

Signing out,
Lili AKA smurf burrito
PS What should i do with my hair? its really boring. i was thinking of cutting it or dying it. idk comments please!

Perfecta by Miranda

This is like one of my favorite songs but dude this video is beyond my comprehension. Ha! its really weird.But you will begin to see that random post like these will apear on my blog. hehehe. its really weird. But Miranda is weird. hmmmm.

signing out,

lili AKA smurf burrito

HA! A Novela.

SORRRRYYYYY! to everyone because i just noticed how blinding the blue was i used yesterday. today was beyond boring it was killing me. hehe. anyways i dont have alot to say other than i miss my best buddies. you guys are and always will be the best-emelie and shea. but anyways moving along i have recently started watching a novela (soap opera) calle La Traicion its faboulous!!!! so its about a guy that has a desease called acatalepsia which makes that body appear dead when its not. so basically he falls in love, duh, with this one girl and she falls in love with him the only problem at the moment was that he was considered a mujeriego so the her parents didnt let her get married then lots of stuff happened and did i mentions the main guy has a twin brother who is also in love with the same girl and is jealous. so he cooks up a plan to seperate the lovers, and of course he prevails then lots of other crap happens that now the main lover is pretending to be the other brother because everyone thinks he is dead and he thinks that the the girl just used him and wants the find the truth and the other girl got prego and had his baby but he thinks its his brothers who he is acting. but since he came back and acted like the other brother her mom made her lie and . .. anyways i doubt anyone was following along but its awesome!!!!! =) hehe. so its on telemudo. ANYWAYS did you guys know that a new ugly betty is on thursday followed by GRey's anatamy YES i cant wait.
anyways going along with my boring life i'm reading A SWEET FAR THING right now and its absolutely great and romantic. and i love it. =) hmmmmmmmm. . . although know one knows this i've been writing a story (all my friends do) i started in eighth grade and just stop but lately started to keep writing it. and shea-i think writing the romance part of a romance novel is the best because its putting romantic things that our own hearts desire. you know. anyways, i might get the courage to post some time soon. ha. maybe.
signing out,
lili aka smurf burrito

PLAY!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Shea and Emelie hello we have to hang out friday!!!!! you guys still havent responded, its friday night, curtain call is at 7:30 PM and i think its 8 bucks. so tell me its BACK TO THE 80'S we can totally make fun of it. ;) you know you wanna. comment me back.
Love Ya,
Lili AKA Smurf Burrito

Hmmmmmmmm. . .Another Day

So today was another normal boring day of my life. the normal schedule. . . i wake up @ 5:40 then kit the alarm clock snooze button 5 times before finally waking up, showering and getting to school a second before the bell ring or a second after. ha. anyways today in english we read Act 4 in Romeo and Juliet and i was very intrigued by the fact that the juliet was so in love that she would kill herself if she was not with romeo, vise versa. and on top of that a cute guy that sat across from me was looking especially cute today hmmmm . . . i drew a nice sketch of him on my notes. =) anyways after the boredom of english class i had BIOLOGY my favorite class and not only because of the subject . .. the conversations we have in class, and well my crush is there! hmmmm . . . so today he asked for my phone number to text me but i was like sorry i lost it and dont have one at the moment but when i buy my new one i'll give it to you. and he just shrugged and went on with his conversation. and any other girl would be worried about this situation but hec i had already lost hope in this crush, and i really didnt have a cell phone plus my purity retreat really did teach me to not really care and i am really waiting for the right one. . . no that doesnt mean i would reject him if he asked me out. hehehee. but that was by far the most exciting thing that happened. in dance were doing this weird shape dance that is the oddest thing i have danced. and i have officially decided to start my diet. . . and those who know me i would never get a hard diet or starve myself, EWWWWW! anyways that was today. =) J***** oh J***** whereout thy J*****? hehehehe. i am not going to pronounce my crushes name my best friends know and that is enough. anyways, life is ok. tommorow sadly it's STAR TESTING ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh. a million times ugh. but after our school classes will be shorter and thats good. well if anything awesome happens i'll report i have to do geometry know. caca.
PEACE,
Lili AKA Smurf Burrito

PURITY RETREAT!

So friday at 4PM i left to DOS PICOS PARK for my church girls' purity retreat. sure it sounds weird a bunch of girls talking about abstaining from sex, waiting, and all that stuff that i do already believe in. but it was absolutely amazing. i think its pretty funny that i'm talking about this stuff at the same time i'm watching the movie juno. HAHA. anyways the purity retreat was so much fun and imformative. the experience was life changing. since i was completely stupid i forgot my camera in my car so i didnt get to take a lot of pictures but the ones i did take were ok. here ya go. . . . well nevermind its not working. i'll post them as soon as i can. =) well we learned amazing things. The most amazing thing April (one of my youth leaders) planned was a date with your dad. so on saturday afternoon we had just finished a talk about real sex (yeah i know) and we were taking a "walk" and all of a sudden we see all of our dads sitting there with roses ready to take us out to dinner. and it was absolutely amazing and who ever conviced my father to go all the way to Ramona did an amazing miracle. hehehehehehe. it was amazing. and so i went to a sushi place in ramona (i know a sushi place in Ramona) with my dad and we ate california and crunch roll. YUM!!!! AMAZING :) i was so happy. anyways friday it was super hot and then it was super cold friday night, then all of saturday it was freezing!!!!!!!! like seriously the stupid news people said it was going to be warm so we all packed shorts, it was not hot. not one bit. so anyways there we were around a campfire freezing our tushis off. and not to mention the burning smoke AHHHHH! but with all these sucky thing the lessons, the bible verses, and the nature were fantastic. i so totally loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways life is so good right now. sort of i have made the choice to completely give myself to jesus and completely save myself until i am married (but already did that a year ago) but this weekend i learned to totally learn how to do so. although hey i till think some guys are so hot. and so love ramnce novels but i know that somewhere there is the absolutely perfect guy for me and hopefully he is going to save himself for me. Anyways its getting late and i totally still have to do other stuff so speak to you l8er.
signing out,
Lili aka smurf burrito.

Oh Oh

Ok i'm at lunch right now and am SUPER tired and SUPER hungry. so this is for shea- my school filtered the blogs so i cant read your thing i'll try when i get to my sisters house. :) but if not i wont get back to you till sunday. as for every other idiot that is reading this BYE and i'll blog sunday afternoon!
signing out
lili AKA smurf burrito

So Long

Well its been a long time since i wrote on here. . . a couple days or a week. i dont know. but i was in San Luis Obispo over my boring but oh so great spring break and as i looked at my family eating at my sisters dinner table i noticed that my family is really torn and that . .. well, we're comformist. something i do not ever desire to be. We #1, like i said in my last blog, tend to bend to others opinions and life instead of sticking to our own identity. My family has not strived for something big like a trip or a goal. we're just here on earth living day by day on the same boring schedule. . . how boring. My mom and dad are having problems with there marriage and money, i'm having problems @ school and plain life, my sister has problems with her fiance, my other sister with her husband and kids, and my other other sister with her boyfrienda and the IRS, my brother with the law (although he has been good lately), and well we have not time to enjoy life, not even to enjoy each other. As you can plainly see we are really messed up at the moment. and it wasnt always that way. i learned that a long time ago AKA pre-me days my dad actually took my family places now he is so run down that all he does is work work oh and work then sleep. my mom has been killing her back cleaning houses, and everything is taking a toll on me because although they are not necessarly my own problems they still weigh me down with the thought of my family suffering. i want to go to spirit west coast (christian rock band thing) $100 something dollars and they give it to me but instantly i feel ashamed for asking for something. These are really hard times in my world from finance to my spiritualism eveything is messed up.
HA i just noticed i dont have #2. oh well. Its late im not done with homework, life sux, i need job, my family is in deep caca and yet i have the ordacity (spell check!) to still want a love life. how pathetic is that. my life is complicated enough and i want to add yet another problem. .. but hey i guess that is wat teenagers are best at, right? :) Well i need to finish health homework so i must say good bye. Blog back soon!

Religoun and Other Flustered Thoughts

Well although my last blog was moments ago i just got a phonecall. Yeah it was my niece asking me to go to church for the wendsday youth group. I usually go withought thought "ofcourse" being my normal robotic answer but today i bit my tongue so to speak. I noticed in my own spiritual self that i have been avoiding church recently. HOPE church is a very welcoming place but at times i feel that the youth group is way seperated its like being in highschool cliques instead of a place to relax and praise the Lord. I mean my sister, Martha, is 31 and she totally bends her character she's different around church people but as soon as we leave the pleasantly full church parking lot it changes. and i think that is an awfull role model to her daughter my 13 year old niece. i mean she is totally different, we used to be close but now were so distant. Sure i'm her aunt but we're just one year apart and treat each other like sisters. I just dont understand why? Why would you want to change your own character just to fit in to someones agenda and way of being? i dont get it. it sucks to be in such an awful position. i try to figure my own standing at church and in my own family and highschool and always find myself and outsider. i dont really mind to be an outsider, a distant character in the backdrop, because i have friends with me that have the same interest. . . well, except at church, i consider them acquantinces. i have always been a person that is picky when picking friends and right now only have one really good friend at my highschool. And you might think of me to be outspoken but i am far from that and yet with my strong opinions i cant help but be jelous of the giant goup of friends i see. or when i see the group at church making plans for after or the weekend it hurts to be so excluded in a way were they just talk about themselves in front of you or worse turn around and snicker. i am very confused teenager with thoughts of love, romance, religoun, God, school, family, and friends the last thing i really need is drama in my life. so i guess my avoidance is just a way to deal and just plainly get over it? i dont know. but as i said and warned before this is a place to let go. UGH! If shea and emelie are reading this. .. . . WHOOoOoo! You guys are really missing out right.

So as to the romance part of my brain and thoughts. i dont have a boyfriend and yes currently am crushing on someone. but i will not mention his name. As i read my books that all have the element of love i find my self skipping to the romantic parts and trully hate myself for it. my heart aches for i have an emptyness that i know i should not have. i'm not saying its necessarily a guys spot because its not but an empty spot thats there and i must fill and that those romantic readings temporarly fill. when i read the way a guy corted a girl in the victorian era i'm totally amazed at the respect there was so long ago. were did it all go. hmmmm . . . well i will leave off with that because if i go on i'm afraid this might me to long for anyone to read. :) ha. anyways i wish whowever reads this to someway connect with my feelings. and relate.
i cant be the only one right . . . ????
signing off,
lili aka smurf burrito

My First Blog! Hehe! Im so excited!

Well it has been a long time no see (even if its my first blog) I cant wait to make plans for the future and start our friendship up again. LOVE YA But here is were i'll express myself and my feelings HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I doubt anyone will ever read this but hec - - -its pretty cool