God save me. Part 1 of the play was absolutely fabulous but sadly my circumstances suck and from lack of communication i had to leave during intermission. I'm definitely going to go 2morrow again to see it all!!!! So for anyone out there that is interested in going with me please email me!!! Curtain call is at 7:30 but for good seats we have to get there around 7:10. OK anyways i was so irritated that i have to leave and i have this weird . . . reaction to being alone. I think its because of my low self esteem, but when I'm alone whether day or night i get anxious and desperate. its so weird my fingers tingle and my mind thinks of the worst situations that can happen. so i got out of the theatre really irritated not at my mom but at my constant situation, i can never go somewhere without it being ruined by something, and the school seemed empty i mean the parking lot had cars but i was alone in the chilly night. this was at 9 and its 9:35 and i still feel a little anxious. it sucks! i feel. .. hey i don't even know how to describe it but i don't think its normal. its like fear but . . . ugh i don't know. but after that i had to silently cry it out a little on my way home and it felt good. by the time i got home i felt a whole lot better. and now i feel a OK. but i definitely don't think that is normal ANYWAYS the play was awesome and the two lead roles were GORGEOUS hmmm .. . it was awesome. when one of the guys had there song (its a musical) he was singing footloose and he totally came up to our row and smiled at us!!! now i dont seem to sound boy crazy but it was awesome or felt awesome. sigh. well that was great.
today nothing really happened. nothing at all. we finished Romeo and Juliet the movie and play and it was so different but both were sad and fulfilling. and on my way to biology i was walking and saw that there is absolutely no point in looking good at school. sure personal hygiene is important and brushing hair and teeth but there to fasion, no offense to fasionistas, but its dumb. there is no other reason other to impress a potential mate, or show off. to those who know me i have nothing to show off, my figure is not hourglass, and connecting the dots if i dont look good i cant attract a mate. but the truth is i'd rather have sweat pants, messy hair (a bun full with nots) and well a shirt that does nothing for my body. HA! ofcourse i like looking ok but i feel so much better in what i just described. =) well that was random rambling but hec i'm bored. but now i must say good night. i'm tired and ready for a good nights sleep. plus i want a run in the morning, so PEACE!
signing out,
Lili AKA Smurf Burrito
2 comments:
wait your seeing it again?!?!
LET ME COME EMAIL ME OR BLOGCOMMENT OR SOMETHING IF YOUR GOINGG!!!!!!!
DUUUDE! Me too! It's not that i don't mind how I look I just look and feel so much BETTER wearing like soft shorts and a huge t-shirt with my hear down! Basically, what I wear to sleep in and what I wear all weekend. And that creepy disturbia thing... creey. Disturbing. I feel so bad! I wish I could have been there so you wouldn't have felt that way! We would have sung Bohemian Raphsody in the parking lot like drunk maniacs! (remember your church play?) And what's all this about "your SITUATION". It's like really morbid and I really don't understand. And the whole "attracting a mate" thing makes you sound like some obscure type of bird or something! And don't you know, guys grow out of this stage! Soon, they get past the face. That's my only hope! Plus, would you rather be in Shea's position? It seems like every relationship Shea has been in has ended (or not ended) badly. NO OFFENSE TO SHEA! I'm just sympathising! And yes I spelled that wrong. But maybe you're disturbed or something. WAIT! WRONG WORD! I mean depressed! It's totally medical. But my godmother has it and she also has cancer so she's got a year to live. Okay that was really reasurring sorry! I don't mean that! It's probably just a phase. To tell you the truth, it sounds really cool but scary and i'm sorry If i sound like a masochist... but i think i have probably tricked myself into feeling that way before. Like total seclusion and blackness and like something's watching you but there's nothing. NOTHING. MUAHAHAHAAAA! But I'm totally serious. I should stop spoiling the endings of movies I watch in WCA. Seriously, we watched Enemy at the Gates (awesome sniper movie with Jude Law and that guy from Shakespeare in Love) and I looked it up on google for some reason and found out that Shakespeare Guy sacrafices himself so that Jude (hey Jude nah nah nah nanananahhh...) can find out where Mr. Awesome badguy german sniper who was the badguy in National Treasure 2 is, so then Mr. Awesome think's he's shot Jude so he goes out and walks around (moron) and Jude is like STANDING RIGHT THERE and they like look at each other and Jude BLOWS HIS BRAINS OUT! The movie's rated R. And just today we started watching this Italian movie Life is Beautiful about this guy and his mom and kid who are sent to Auchwitz and he convinces his kid it's all a game and the rules are like don't be seen by german guards, don't complain, don't ask for food, and such and such and the winner who gets 1000 points gets a tank and I just found out that he (not the kid) gets shot making the kid laugh one last time just before the American liberators break in with their tank and the kid thinks he's won and he's reunited with his mom but Guido is dead so that must really such. Guido is like really awesome and funny. I should add him to my list.
WOW, I am the QUEEN of SPOILERS!!! And extremely long comments. Sorry. I really have to sleep now.
Good Night!
~Twig
Post a Comment